“Forever For Now” – Falling in love in your 40’s

We met online.

He had me with his first email. I had exchanged emails with lots of men over the two years I had been separated, went on a few OK dates. Don’t get me wrong most were very nice men just looking for a partner for the second half of their life. At least I choose to give them the benefit of the doubt. After all, doesn’t everyone really just want to be loved? But it has to at least click. There has to be a spark. All fires start with at least a spark, right? Why would I want less than that?

So, what made this guy different was what he picked up on in my profile that inspired him to write me. That I am a little girl who grew up to be a woman. Because really that little girl is at the core of my true self. Everything I am, think, do and don’t do comes from her growing up, her experiences, her life lessons, her desires, that became the me of today. And I still feel like that little girl often. So I need someone who sees her and loves her and laughs at her.

Anyway, the match that lit the spark was when he wrote “Thank heaven for little girls for they grow up in the most delightful ways”. Kaching! Smart, romantic, intuitive, creative… and wow was he cute – bonus:) Plus he could spell… his profile was well written, well thought out, revealing enough yet intriguing . And while I am not a biker chick, the fact he rides a Harley says bad boy. Yup. Very interesting…

We exchanged witty and fun emails and soon let each other into our private lives through Facebook, where we each proceeded to stalk each other. And our first date was actually a conversation on Skype. Very 2012 of us.

Almost a year later it just keeps getting better. I seriously fall more in love with this man everyday. What makes it different at our age? Everything that matters. Honesty, respect, appreciation… everyday. It”s actually very, very easy. And more rewarding than you can imagine. Actually better than I could ever have imagined.

  • We both know what we don’t want – old enough to know better, but young enough at heart to feel like teenagers
  • We both have no time or patience for games – life is too short – and too busy!
  • What you see is what you get – why would you want to be loved for who you aren’t?
  • We have no interest in changing each other – I fell in love with who he is, not who he isn’t.
  • We already have a family and know what kind of parents we are – 5 boys between us!

Did I mention we live 2 hours away from each other? In different countries no less? He’s a very proud, patriotic American, and I am a proud Canadian.

We love being together. He is as much my friend as my lover as my rock to lean on and shoulder to cry on. He has taught me to love sharing – everything. What’s mine is his, what’s his is mine. I love sharing meals with him in restaurants. I find that so romantic. We share glasses of wine. We share kisses and hugs – lots. He always says and does the right thing, naturally, which is what makes him the perfect man for me. He warms my heart, makes me smile, and best of all, I have never ever felt so safe and loved as I do when laying in bed with my head on his chest, his arm around me. It is our favourite spot. It is our little haven. It really is the simple things in life that are most wonderful sometimes.

And me? I just do my best to love him everyday and make sure he knows it. He is a wonderful little boy who grew up to be an even more wonderful man and he deserves to know that.

For now neither of us has any intention of moving or marrying. We have kids, jobs, lives in our home towns. Everyone asks us what will we do? Why do anything different if it is perfect right now? Of course we miss each other when we are apart. So far we have managed to never go more  than 10 days. It’s nice to miss someone. because when you see them you are always so happy and appreciative of the time together. We admit that is one of the reasons this is working so well. I told him from the beginning I can’t promise the future – the future does not even exist. All I want is to to be with someone I love when the sun sets that day, and still love him when the sun rises. So that is what I focus on everyday with this man. And we promise to love each other forever for now. Today and tomorrow. Eventually all those tomorrows will add up…

sunset

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1 thought on ““Forever For Now” – Falling in love in your 40’s”

  1. Meet me on the corner of close and soon
    I’ll have a song in my head
    And my hands on a tune
    Nothing lasts forever
    So I figure I better
    Take you forever
    For now

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